Here’s why forcing your driver to listen to your tunes is a dick move
Everyone is very excited this week because Uber are teaming up with Spotify to allow Uber users to play whatever music they like in their Uber car. As a regular user of both Uber and Spotify I think this is a horrible idea.
Spotify founder Daniel Ek said in a press statement: “Having Spotify available in your Uber car, we think takes Spotify to the next level. Imagine you’re going to a party on a Friday night, you can choose which music is playing to get you in the mood.” Ok, but what happens if the music that gets you in the mood happens to be the marvellously named metal band Anal Blasphemy? What if you’re on your way to a swingers party organised by members of UKIP and the album that’s going to get you in the mood for that is the EP of everyone’s favourite white supremacist pop group Prussian Blue. What if you really love One Direction?
I propose that when Uber introduce this new feature (this Friday, 21st Nov) they also introduce an additional system whereby drivers can rate customers in a way that includes their music choices.
Maybe I’m just some kind of weirdo, but when I get in a car with somebody who is driving that car, I like to have a little chat. Uber cars, for anyone who has never been in one, aren’t like black cabs. You’re not separated by a sheet of perspex from a borderline racist Cockney who refuses to go south of the river. You’re in somebody’s car, possibly sitting next to them in the passenger seat. Oh yeah, and it’s a car that they own. Uber drivers own their own vehicle, are self-employed and work to their own schedule. Thanks to this partnership with Spotify though, they now have no agency over their own ears. And everyone thinks that’s totally reasonable.
I like Uber because it’s about half the price of any other car hire service. You can pretend you look like the couple in the above advertising image when you arrive anywhere in one. And you don’t need to worry about having cash on you, because payments are all dealt with directly through the app. But what makes an Uber journey so reliably pleasant are the personal touches. The driver who’s bothered to put bottles of complementary mineral water in the back on his car, the driver who has chosen to wear a suit jacket and opens the door for you at the end of your journey. Having chatted to a few drivers, they all seem to really like working for the company because, unlike working for a mini cab firm or driving a black cab, they have more agency over their situation. They can choose their working hours, for example. I guess this is why they’re so friendly, helpful and generally pleasant – because they’re in a service job where they’re actually treated as individual human beings. Allowing Uber users to completely dismiss a large part of what makes that driver’s day tolerable (being able to listen to the football as they sit in traffic, or chill out to Classical FM as they drive someone on a comedown home at 6am) is the first step towards allowing that user to treat their driver as a soulless automaton, not worthy of conversation or consideration.
Uber is so successful partly because it’s a win-win for driver and customer alike. The clever star-rating system on the app goes both ways – the driver gives the user a rating out of five, which is visible to all drivers and the user gives the driver a rating that is reported back to the company. Great, customers avoid dishonest drivers who’ll take them eight miles around the houses just to get between Victoria and Marble Arch and drivers avoid fuckheads who are likely to puke all over their upholstery. It’s a system based on mutual respect and equal benefit. Factor in forcing your driver to listen to your party tunes on top volume as you doubtlessly sing along tunelessly with your friends and he might as well be driving the nightbus with rudeboys in the back listening to tinny music blasting out of their iPhones and swigging cans of Tennents. I propose that when Uber introduce this new feature (this Friday, 21st Nov) they also introduce an additional system whereby drivers can rate customers in a way that includes their music choices. It seems only fair that if Uber drivers are allowed to avoid projectile vomit, they should also be permitted to steer clear of the musical offerings Ed Sheeran and Nicki Minaj.